꒰ little tips for little hearts ꒱꒱

┆ consider opening your window, or even just the curtains

┆ observe the weather ! is it raining -- are the rain drops on your window racing ? is it sunny -- is it bright and colorful and warm ? is it snowing -- do you get to bundle up and drink something festive ? are there clouds in the sky -- what shapes are they ? every day is special

┆ taking short walks, taking note of nature, feeling the breeze on your skin,, physically touch the nature around you, realize how each object has it's own unique textures and qualities,, go slow, enjoy yourself

┆ spending time with a pet if you have one ! your pets love you unconditionally

┆ taking time for hygiene -- have a shower or bath, brush your teeth, use perfume and/or lotions you like ! hygiene is a basic nessecity that all people deserve to be able to make time for, it is not a waste of time and you deserve to feel clean and pampered

┆ making more time for things you genuinely enjoy ! think about when you're having the most fun, what is it that makes those times fun ?

┆ i know you're tired of hearing this, but really, drink some more water, it is really important for every single one of your bodies systems to run optimally

┆ do what you can to ensure the space around you is clean, neat, and tidy,, if the thought of cleaning your space right now sounds far too overwhelming, every time you get up to go use the bathroom or get a snack, just put ONE item where it's supposed to go, just one,, just like with hygiene, you deserve to exist in a space that is clean, and cleaning is not a waste of time

┆ reaching out to your friends ! they love you, you are not a bother !!

┆ reminding yourself that a bad mood can and will lie to you

┆ you deserve to treat yourself kindly, there's no reason to punish yourself

꒰ beginning to move on from trauma ꒱

┆ ask yourself how you're feeling,, you may in denial, paranoid, feeling helpless, angry, guilty, sad, among many other possible feelings,, it's okay to acknowledge and accept when you are unwell

┆ identify any physical symptoms you may be having, such as lack of sleep, oversleeping, having an excessive amount of nightmares, poor concentration and/or memory problems, and trouble recalling events, just to name some

┆ while it may be very, very difficult, please do currate a support system of friends,, people who are like you who will love and support you even when youre at your lowest,, people who you can recall the events of your trauma to, who will listen and accept you

┆ don't be afraid to take time to yourself if you just want to be alone, but make certain to treat yourself kindly during these times as well,, if you find that your alone time is causing you to spiral into unpleasant thoughts--stop, confide in a friend and tell them about these thoughts,, work through them together, enjoy your alone time safely

┆ don't bottle up your feelings,, you cannot starve your negative feelings to death, because they will just feed off of you instead,, you have to feed them, and feed them well, for those negative feelings to gain enough strength in their legs to walk away and finally leave you alone,, be ! sad ! don't repress it, think about it directly, cry your eyes out, anything,, do it with a friend if you can, but by yourself is okay too,, if you can do that, it removes most if not all of the incredibly strong negative feelings that recalling your trauma can have on you,, you've already gotten the being sad part over with,, of course, it will surely take more than one day, and it's incredibly difficult to do, so please take your time,, healing takes years,, you are doing your best, you are doing more than good enough

┆ don't resort to harmful outlets, please,, if you find that you already are doing these things, look into the nessecary steps to stop what's only doing you more harm,, you deserve better, i love you

┆ if your trauma involved an abuser, remind yourself that your abuser's cruelty is not really how the world works,, abusers lie to their victims,, some abusers will convince their victims that they are not deserving of love, that love is conditional, that their victim is not worth being loved, that their victim is in some way something to be used for favors, etc etc,, these are lies,, if someone has or is treating you like this, there is no circumstance in which they are someone that deserves your time or your energy,, you deserve love that is fully unconditional and pure of heart, ZERO exceptions

┆ has your trauma caused you to drop a hobby that you used to love pre-dating the trauma ? gently try taking the hobby back up, but acknowledge that is so so so okay if it doesn't make you feel the way you used to,, you are hurt, you are still healing,, give yourself the gentleness you deserve, and eventually, with time, you might find yourself getting all the joy you used to get out of this hobby,, maybe even try taking up a brand new hobby you've never tried before

꒰ coping with panic and anxiety ꒱

┆ ground yourself,, physically get out a notebook and write 5 things you can currently see, 4 things you can currently feel, 3 things you can currently hear, 2 things you can currently smell, and 1 thing you can currently taste ,! if there's nothing you can smell or taste or hear, instead write down your favorite flavor, scents, and songs ! instead of your favorite flavor, you can also instead write one thing you like about yourself

┆ try to do something that usually relaxes you ! you can play a game, watch a cartoon, play with stuffed animals, color or draw, talk to friends, play with pets, play outside, etc

┆ ask a trusted friend to remind you how unreasonable anxiety can be--because anxiety really does like to make mountains out of molehills

┆ if you can and would like to, you can try dancing to yourself in your bedroom, it'll help your body offload the extra adrenline,, you can do the same thing with pacing if you prefer that, but dancing will probably get the job done faster ꒰ besides, dancing is more fun ꒱

┆ if you can and would like to, keep as many senses occupied as you can in ways that are positive and beneficial,, pet your favorite plushie and really feel the texture, light a candle or spray a scent you enjoy, eat something you like and really focus on the flavor and texture of the food

꒰ help with getting to sleep ꒱

┆ do all you can to make sure you're physically comfortable,, if your feet are cold, put on some socks ! if you're too warm, use a thinner blanket ! of course those things might seem really obvious, but when you're tired, you might not notice when you're uncomfortable like that,, also, if possible, buy a better pillow or mattress ,! clean your sheets and pillow cases regularly, too

┆ if you find that you're unable to sleep because of racing thoughts, maybe put on a playlist from a youtuber you've seen a thousand times before, like an old lets-play,, it'll be engaging enough to keep your mind from wandering too far, while not being so engaging that you can't fall asleep,, make sure the volume isn't too high

┆ enable night-mode on your devices, it reduces the amount of blue light coming from your screens, which helps your brain to realize that it's time to go to bed,, if you're using a laptop, you can adjust the settings so that you can close the lid without your laptop going into sleep mode, so you can just listen to your video, music, or whatever you like without having the light shine in your face

┆ just close your eyes, and start to think about something safe,, do you have OCs you really love or a story you want to write ? think about that story ! think about your ocs being happy ! or, maybe you could imagine in-depth what your perfect tea party or picnic would be like, down to picking the fruits and individually preparing each item,,, what will your basket for your picnic look like ? what will your tea set for your tea party look like ?

꒰ being a good friend ꒱

┆ when your friend is having a problem, try to understand things from their perspective ! try asking questions, and listening carefully,, you don't have to have answers or solutions to their issues, just listening and showing that you genuinely care is most often more than enough

┆ compliment your friends, unsolicited ! remind them how much they mean to you, even if it's seemingly out of no where,, tell them what it is about them that makes you smile, even if the descriptions are abstract

┆ help them out in small ways ! if you're hanging out, and you notice their water bottle is almost empty, just get up and refill it for them without them even having to ask you to,, friends don't always tell you the ways they need help -- keep an eye out, look for them yourself

┆ give random gifts ! be it little ones like a flower you plucked off the ground, or grand thoughtful gifts that took time and effort,, both matter, just do what you're capable of and don't burn yourself out

┆ make time for them ! when together, pay attention to them as well, not constantly distracted or uncaring,, do things they care about, try things they're interested in

┆ ask your friend what kind of physical touch they enjoy, and if it's compatible with your own wants and needs, go for it ! not everyone likes a sudden hug, so it's always good to check on boundaries

┆ occasionally, you are going to disagree with your friend, and it's important to go about it in a respectful way ! if a friend says or does something that you find questionable, it should always be okay to say so,, maturely, kindly, and respectfully let your friend know what you think and why,, try to approach the situation with curiosity and a desire to learn more about your friend’s perspective ! if you start to feel upset, take a moment to regulate and soothe these feelings in a healthy way, and come back when you're ready ! this should not rock a healthy friendship

┆ be willing to apologize when you've made a mistake ! own up to it, don't be in denial or be defensive,, apologies should be sincere, and not littered with excuses,, a good rule of thumb to understand the difference between an explanation and an excuse ꒰ if this is something you struggle with ꒱ is if you feel as if a genuine misunderstanding might arise if you don't explain or clear up particular details,, if you've done something wrong, you should care about the consequences more than the potential blow to your ego

┆ if they have a medical or mental health issue, a great way to offer support is to learn about what they’ve been diagnosed with, be it your own research or asking them directly about their personal experiences ! not only does being interested in what they’re going through show that you care about these issues, it also shows that you plan to stick around no matter what

┆ allow yourself to be open, vulnerable, and honest with your friends ! while it can be very difficult to do, if you expect them to do the same, you may have to lead by example ! show that this is a friendship where it's safe and okay to be vulnerable

┆ there is basically no reason to talk about your friends behind their backs,, even if you have an issue with your friend, you should be discussing it with them personally, not complaining about it to other people ! your friend might not even be aware you have an issue in the first place ! and, if your friend tells you something personal, just automatically assume that it's a secret, and keep it between the two of you ! additionally, those other friends that you went to, probably are going to trust you a whole lot less after they see that you're willing to do something like that,, the only exception where it's okay to talk about someone behind their back is if they are being abusive and cruel to you, and you're seeking out help

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